So you’re playing Champ Man 01-02 (or CM4 if you were into that kind of thing). You’re clearly using the aforementioned 3-5-2 attacking formation (the one which gave birth to the now OED recognised term: “Champ Man arrows”). You’ve built a solid squad based around cheap Scandinavian U21s and Champ Man legend #1 Mike Duff . BUT you need someone to play behind the strikers. You need Tonton.
Tonton v Ronaldinho
For some unknown reason written deep in the game’s code there’s no way this can be an attacking midfielder, nor can it be a forward. It must be an attacking midfielder/forward centre. Other positions could fill in there, and maybe if you were managing one of Europe’s elite clubs then you might have been able to get Ronaldinho. He’d certainly do a job for you, but for most teams Tonton was the main man. He had all the stats you could dream off, was young and had Swedish and Ghanaian dual nationality.
Not only was he within almost every club’s price range, he was also willing and able to move. There’s no doubting it – he was the man you wanted. We can only assume that after a pre-season tour of Thailand with the Derby youth team he’d made some sort of horrendous social faux pas leaving him isolated and unloved within the squad. There’s literally no other logical explanation to explain why Derby would let him go on the cheap.
It’s at this point that I feel I have to say that this article, and this entire series of Champ Man Legends was funded by the Make Tonton Zola Moukoko Great Again Campaign or MTZMGA. Whilst we appreciate their long running support I can’t sacrifice my journalistic credibility anymore and therefore I have to say that Tonton never really did it for me. DUN DUN DUUNNN! I know it may well spell the end of ThatFootballGame as we know it, but I can’t live this lie forever. I tried Tonton with multiple teams but he was only average, maybe above average (7.6 Avg. Rating) but that’s not good enough if you harbour ambitions of winning ten Champions Leagues/Premier League/FA Cup trebles in a row (and I did).
Anyway hopefully the MTZMGA pressue group don’t actually read these articles. As is customary with being a Championship Manager sensation, the reality of his career was nowhere near as glamorous. Whilst true to the game, he did manage to make it out of Derby without making a single appearance, he didn’t make many appearances elsewhere either! He was apparently signed to play for Carlstad of the Swedish league under the stewardship of Sven Goran Eriksson and Tord Grip. Sven and Tord were renowned for their work in getting foreigners to leave the country; many current right wing politicians put them on a pedestal to this day. Moreover, it’s a lesser known fact that Donald Trump’s recent travel ban actually stems from an early paper written by Sven and Tord on practical methods to move non-EU nationals out of a club’s youth system.
Tonton and his Awards
Summing up how much Tonton means to the Championship Manager community is difficult, but nothing does it quite as well the wonderful site of seeing Tonton beating Fabrizio Ravanelli by one vote, to be named Derby’s greatest ever striker in an online poll.
In summary the MTZMGA group are wonderful, and we love and respect their money very much. Sorry we mean Tonton Zola Moukoko is great; we love and respect him as a Champ Man ‘Legend’.